America, raise your own damn kids

I think I’m reaching the breaking point and that may be because more people are finally standing up and talking about events in their life regarding this. After reading an article on about how American Idol has gotten “mean” finally pushed me to write this.

Brace your self parents… wait… here it comes… YOUR KID SUCKS. Yeah really they all do… at something. Now I don’t want to hear “Oh when you have kids you’ll understand.” No I won’t. My kids will not be raised to think that they will be rewarded for wiping their ass right. She comes from a very strong family upbringing of working for what you have, not what you think you’re deserved just because. My wife and I both agree that most of you people are doing a pretty fucked up job because you like the idea of being a parent but not the job that comes with it. Face it. Some things your kids are not good at and someone needs to tell them. Katie Couric can take her “well maybe they just need a hug” and blow it out her ass. Pampering leads to setting this country up to be overtaken by people who don’t give a shit about your feelings.

Being competitive is what helps mold a successful person. You have to know failure before you’ll achieve success. Quit pampering your kids. Quit running to their side if someone calls them a name. Teach them to stand up for themselves. Give them a backbone. You’re a parent first and a friend second. I’m going to break it down into a few areas. Academics, Athletics and Society.

Academics: Your kid is slow at picking up a subject. Don’t blame the teacher, throw a fit and trash the school’s name. Maybe your kid just isn’t that bright. The grading scale for the school has changed. Don’t get all pissy, write to the paper about how it’s unfair and start protests. You tell your child they have to try harder if they want that mark. WORK for it. Running to PTA meetings and being a freak about your child because you cant bare the thought of raising him and “exposing him to the real world” at any age is irresponsible on your part. If they learn to deal with it now it will make life a whole hella easier before someone stuffs them in a locker.

Athletics: Your child can’t hit, run, catch, kick or has no coordination but yet hey, they still deserve a trophy for trying right? Fuck no. Yeah you need to learn the game and you also need to learn that when you fail you don’t get rewarded. Where does the drive come from to be better if they’re rewarded for being mediocre? I played baseball for over 20 years. I have 1 trophy. I admit I wasn’t the best player but why would I try to improve myself if at the end I got a medal or a reward anyways. “Well you just should” is a bullshit answer Dr Phil when you’ve never had a reason to re-enforce it. You’re teaching the kid to be lazy. I heard this morning on the radio how this listener’s 10 yr old is in a basketball league where each child can not score more than 16 points a game or they’re benched. Another caller said that the local youth soccer league has a rule where a team cant score more than 7 goals or they are issued the lose.

Society: This is where the wanna be yuppie nazi soccer moms come in usually. American Idol is an example of what’s to come in the next 10 years and honestly scares the shit out of me to think my child will be exposed to these insecure asses. Your child can’t sing. That’s a fact. Yeah you should encourage them to get better but don’t lie. Each one of those people that go on American Idol know that they will get the brunt truth of the fact. They will be told if they are awful. What should they do? Well they can quit if they want or they can use that to build on. You show up in a pink hat, you’re overweight, you’re obviously tone deaf and you have the voice of someone sucking helium… do you REALLY expect to win? Of course because momma said you’re beautiful. When you get trashed and told you have no talent so you freak.

Parents, quit pretending that the real world is not out there. Quit being clueless and assume that your kid is innocent. Guess what, you’re kids have ways to see what they want on the internet. Yeah your kid.. really uh huh. They’re having *gasp* sex* talks with their friends and in chat rooms but go ahead and believe that’s just homework. Your kids own you.

Quit living in a make believe land that there is no wrong. All it’s doing is delaying the inevitable of exposure to how the world is today. People will pick on you for the dumbest reasons. Learn how to handle the situations. Making them spineless whiney babies isn’t solving anything. I see it in family and friends raising their kids every day and I just shake my head.

I’m no expert but I can see when complete bullshit is going on. Most of the time I sit back and laugh to myself thinking “shit, I shoulda been a shrink because these kids would finance my house in the Bahamas.” Other times it’s “God, you have no idea how fucked up you’re going to become.”

Do us all a favor and quit being naive. Quit believing “the community raises my kid” and for the love of god, get some balls and be a parent.

Oh yeah and “suck it up” doesn’t work either. It only makes kids do the opposite. That phrase has been banned in my house.

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8 Responses to America, raise your own damn kids

  1. Stacey M. says:

    I love love love it! And completely, 100% agree!

  2. Brad says:

    Sniff, Sniff! That was beautiful! You should forward that to the Pittsburgh City Paper for their “RANT” section! It would be PERFECT!

  3. Michael says:

    See, I’m always WAY ahead of my peers when it comes to thinking like this. Dude, I hate children so much I had a vesectomy. I can’t wait for the day, when smoking in all public establishments is banned and smoking sections are turned into kid free zones. I always get looks when a hostess asks ” smoking or non ?” My response is “Do you have a no children section?”

    it’s the liberal government. it’s all the people who when they were kids got beat and didn’t like it, so they made laws against it, now society is getting to see the results of that. idiots.

    EVERYday I see something on the news about crap like ‘Self Esttem this self esteem that’ I’m begining to think this self esteem crap was invented much like kwanza and quite possibly by the same people. So when i see crap like this on TV in my heart I thank my lucky stars my dad beat me as a kid.

    it’s kind of like warning lables… without a warning sticker on an outlet suggesting you not stick your tounge in it, I’m VERY certain people would learn on their own not to do it. Only the truly stupid do it more than once. i did some stupid stuff as a kid… but only once.

    If elected president, I’d suggest a 2 year moritorium on ALL warning lables. I’d also make ENGLISH the official language of this country. WHY in the world do I need the 30 other languages in my manual for my washing machine. manuals have all stayed the same size, but now there is less information to make up for having to have the 30 other languages.

    I seem to be jumping around but somehow it really is all related. Getting back on track there is this little thing Gov Rendell 9bleeding heart lib gov of PA) Raising the minimum wage…

    IT IS EXACTLY LIKE giving a trophy to the losers… Oh sorry you suck at finding a better job, here, have some more money…

    THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON for a minimum wage when McDonalds and everyone else is already paying higher than minimum wage. The only people this truly hurts is the mom and pop shops that make up the majority of employeers in this state. This also help to create criminals out of them by nearly forcing them to hire ‘under the table’ workers. To the government, this sor of illeagle activity is as wrong as trucking in mexicans to work cheaply. The entire reason people cannot survive on 5$ an hour is because of Government.

    I say piss off. This is open market at it’s best, I can decide who I work for and for how much and don’t force someone to give me health benefits I don’t need them or want them.

    OK back on subject, Raise your own kids… Well, the government lets people with kids get used to them raising their kids through the worlds largest subsidized day care in the world… PUBLIC SCHOOLING.

    I’ve read that public schooling was really just created along with child labor laws to keep abled body workers – children – OUT of the workforce.

    Little did they see that this would eventually create laziness in Amerikan youth.

  4. hooter says:

    You are such a great and beautiful person Spoon. You are the best!. Suck it up, man, you’ll be fine!

  5. Clarke says:

    FINALLY, a discussion for those of us who dislike out of control children. I know we’re in the minority, but Goddamn it if it doesn’t feel good to speak your mind.

    I can’t stand people who just HAVE to have children, like it’s their duty to society to spread their seed, because they’re so wonderful and the world deserves their offspring. How pompous. Then, these kids grow up to be spoild, self-indulgent, narcicists.

    My wife and I made a conscious decision not to have children because we simply don’t feel like giving up any of our time to take care of children. Our friends who have kids have encouraged us to have them, but I stop them dead in their tracks. “Maybe you should pay more attention to being a better father, rather than encouraging me to make a big mistake with my life.” It’s not the most popular thing to say, but it shuts them the fuck up.

    Cheers to you, Spoon. And to the rest of you. Cheers to all of you fellow DINKS.

  6. spoon says:

    Wow I didnt expect this kind of support. It’s good to see that others are just as annoyed as I am.

    The wife and I do plan on having kids but I will say this. All these fucked up parents are prime examples for us on what NOT to do. Besides I need that boy to make it to the NHL so daddy can retire 🙂 Most of you know how the mrs. and I are so it’s only apparent that our spawn will kick the shit out of these other kids… then open a beer and watch a hockey game while daddy teaches him the Original Six. Our daughter on the other hand would do the same but probably have a wine cooler.

    Hrm, should probably get started on making the kid first. That’s the fun part.

  7. Kenny Rodriguez...Running for Prezidente! says:

    I hate the parents that can’t say the word “NO!” Just imagine how great GTA (Grand Theft Auto) would be If we didn’t have parents saying it was too violent for their children to play.

    Does anyone see the irony in this? Hmmm if it’s too violent to play, maybe they shouldn’t be playing it? Hmmm If it’s too violent to play, maybe the parents should grow some balls and stand up to their 7 year old and say NO!

    Fuck no! Parents don’t say NO, they take on the industry and protest and win. I end up playing scaled down version of games that could be great and filled with violence, sex and blood! After a hard day of work i wanna kill people on a video game with as much reality as possible.

    Who the fuck cares if your kid is playing GTA anyway. Parents blame GTA for their kids smokin weed, drinkin vodka and having sex in the stairwell of their middle school ….the parents sue the school….maybe there are other things parents should be worrying about…like how they have no BALLS and are scared of a 7 year old. I HATE DUMB PARENTS AND I HATE THEIR KIDS. They are taking my freedom away! Don’t get me started with fireworks and personal responsibility!

  8. Kurt Johnson says:

    Add me to the list. The “rock in my show” angle I’ve had with this is how it seems like every friggin’ parent I meet has to tell me how their kid tests “near genius level” in this or that. Every kid, I swear. Have they lowered genius requirements?

    And then there’s always the caveat – “But they do really poorly in [some academic subject].” Oh, so you’re saying their development is uneven, like pretty much everyone’s. You’re saying that overall, they are AVERAGE. Ouch. Goddamn truth.

    Kudos, Spoon.

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